Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
