I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
