I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize