A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
