we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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