help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
