4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
