we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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