i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Drunk is a universal language darling
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So here I am, sexting at work.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
