I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
