I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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