I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
