so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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