On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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