I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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