never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
