Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
