I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
