Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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