Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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