I have demons in me.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
