Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
