Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
