If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
