its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
