Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
