Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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