the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
