I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize