So drunk its hurt
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
