belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
