but the lizard people decide everything anyway
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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