you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
