you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
