It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize