Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
