alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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