I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
