Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
