Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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