He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
