y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize