i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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