the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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