he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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