I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
