I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
