yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize