I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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