I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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