I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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