You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
