I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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