i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
