Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
