Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
