that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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