Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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