I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize