I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
