Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
