Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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