he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
